24 hour panic attacks

Last night I joined some friends and coworkers at a 9:15 screening of Adventureland at work.  I came straight from class, where I worked on my computer, barely listening to the incredibly interesting guest speaker, who basically lobbies for the interests of the arts, commercial and otherwise–and told us about the conflict inherent in repping broadway and 501(c)3 and clear channel and pixar or whatever.

On the train, having been off my computer for all of 15 minutes, I loaded up my email on my iphone to find that I had 10 new messages.  4 of them group-self-congratualatory on an A+ for a presentation we did last week, that I can barely remember now.  What’s an A+ worth these days?  Who knows.

When I got to work, I bought a d.coke – sullenly.  My head was poundy and I was very clammy and overaware that my purse has taken on a very gross smell that can only be described as “unshowered hippie.”  How do you get this out of a purse?  Should I just drench it in sprays of various sorts?  I’m so embarrassed.  I shower frequently.

Adventureland was darker than I expected.  Depressing and relateable in the way that the main character is so middle class and so reaching above that and so unable to reconcile the fancy college education and rich social circle he has amassed with his alcoholic, newly less-than-middle class father and his weird steel-worker/catholic hometown.  Martin Starr’s character is a poor unattractive jew who reads Gogol and is too embarrassed to show anyone the inside of his home.  Ouch.

Anyways, I’m unsure if the movie only seemed desperately sad despite it’s rom-com format because I am so sad lately, or what, but I beat it out of the theatre fast and crawled into bed wondering how I got so sick when it struck me that I had forgotten to eat all day.  Oh, good job.

Anyhow, I bought new Rhodia notebooks and new micron pens to do my copyediting with, and this has been helpful to my mood.  Pens save the day!

I am excited to graduate, take a west coast vacation, and then startoversummer.  See you then, friends.

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2 responses to “24 hour panic attacks

  1. I am so glad you got some pens.

  2. no one knows the power of pens better than my ells.

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